One of my biggest faults is running ahead of God. There are more times than I care to tick off that I have made a mad dash to get out ahead of Him.
Just recently in one of those ah-ha moments I came to realize just why I do that. Understanding how our family of origin operates can unlock many secrets to our behavior and this was one of them.
Knowing you have the problem of running ahead of God and not running ahead of God are two different things. But I can assure you He is working on that in me. Just minutes after my last post of Freedom in Saying No – Part 4 my cell phone rang. It was my son telling me he had been kicked out of a Rehab and I needed to come get him right now.
A still small voice was telling me…
This is a test…
Would I pass or would I fail, would I cave already?
Is this helping or am I about to enable again?
I took a deep breath and decided this would be enabling and I needed to let him go, to let him struggle this one out. I couldn’t say for sure what God was doing, but I knew He was and there would be no running ahead of him this time.
I said No as firmly as I could.
God in His infinite wisdom provided a Christian woman who sort of knew my son to offer him a ride and on that ride he heard about his need to repent, to turn from sin and that more than anything he needed Jesus. Now he’s heard that from me over and over, but this would be from a new voice, a voice that God had ordained for just this moment.
Just a few days later my son would try to get back into a Rehab… For the first time all the helps that had been out there, the doors would be closed. No over nights at the hospital until a bed was ready. In absolute fear of being homeless he called me begging me to come pick him up.
Once again I heard the still small voice in my head …
This is a test…
No more enabling for me, no more running ahead of what God has in mind. I reminded myself that God is good, He is always good.
Because I said No… and he had run out of all other options he went through his phone list and found the number of one of the Elders from our church and asked for help. Right now he is the car of with him, again hearing a new voice, a God ordained voice. A voice I am sure God planned to use long before today.
Today not only did I refuse to enable, I refuse to run ahead of God.
Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.