You know that feeling you get in your gut, the one that tells you something is wrong, very wrong. It’s that gnawing that just won’t go away. That is the feeling we need to trust. We’ve all had it, and not just about our addict or addiction related things.
I can remember walking in my home for the first time. We had walked into many during our search for a new house. I can remember sitting down on the hearth and just having this sense in my gut… this is the place. That feeling of certainty. Its just with addiction, that certainty is of the negative sense.
Intuitions, or gut feelings, are sudden, strong judgments whose origin we can’t immediately explain. Although they seem to emerge from some inner force, they actually begin with a perception of ; a facial expression, a tone of voice, an inconsistency so fleeting you’re not even aware you noticed. That intuition or gut feeling becomes an instant mental matching game. The brain takes in a situation, does a very quick search of its files, and then finds its best match among the stored memories. Based on that you r gut responds to the situation standing in front of you.
In “Setting Boudaries with Your Adult Children” Allison Bottke write:
Parents often know in their gut when things aren’t right – when that inner voice speaks to their hearts about a specific situation or issue. .. Nowhere does the need to trust our instincts hold truer than when we suspect our adult children are on drugs… its like a sixth sense alarm goes off on our hearts and souls, shrilling a warning to take heed. A warning many of us have ignored for too long.
I’ve ignored it… I’ve pushed it away because I didn’t want to buy into it. My head would over rule it with the “Not My Kid” theology I tried to convince myself of. I know that hiding my head in the sand for a time was the only way I managed to survive. But truth always finds it way through the barriers we place around our hearts. I have learned to listen to my gut, it is usually pretty intune with what is happening with my addict.
Although I will confess that during times of his walking strong in his recovery my gut has flinched when it was ok to believe. With all that I have been through, even my gut has experienced Post Traumatic Stress. But I will still take notice when it sends up flares that it senses something is wrong… because I know I can no longer ignore the problems that addiction bring to our lives.
Trust your instincts…