Revisiting a Blog post I wrote in August 2010… such a battle we have as parents to fully open our hands and let go. I told my son today his Journey is out of my hands, my hands are “off”… its on him.

A Mothers Heart

The roller-coaster ride of the past year has taken its toll on my heart. The havoc that my son’s addiction has wreaked on our family has hit a wall. So many times we have waved a magic wand over the pain and losses we have endured.

Poof… all gone.

Pushing aside the anger, and dusting it over with forgiveness, making every effort to live at peace, to offer another chance… and another…and another.

We verbally tell ourselves that the new items that have come up missing are just “things” we can replace things. He’s still alive, he wants to stay clean; he promises he won’t go back, he’ll get our stuff back. The stuff never comes back, it never gets replaced, and the tangled realities of staying clean and alive are constantly on the cusp of extinction.

I have wrestled for so long with this mother’s heart that just can’t…

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