From a Distance

Choosing to love and support your addict’s Recovery from a distance is a difficult step to take, but today and for the last 12 today’s it has been a step worth taking.  I had to tell my son that he was no longer welcome in our home, that before he could come back for a visit of any kind he would need 6 months of sobriety.  And that I would only be encouraging him from a distance.

First and foremost it has removed another level of chaos from my life, as well as from the lives of my man and my little man.  Peace and (relative) consistency has once again settled over our household.

I have had to practice putting my fears and pain into the Hands of my God.  He knows what my son needs more than I do, loves him even more than I do and I already see Him providing.  My son hasn’t gone hungry, nor has he had to sleep on a park bench.  He has reportedly stayed clean and is even working.

In a brief conversation with him yesterday he said to me…

“Mom I am truly loving being sober, I had the urge to use the other day and instead of running around trying to find drugs… I let the urge pass; praying for God to take it from me” 

I was thrilled for him, that he used a Tool he’s long had in his arsenal and found that it worked.

Small victories…

My son has been on his prodigal journey for quite some time, he has eaten at the pig trough, been without for along time and he is just now beginning to hear that small voice inside him telling him its time…    

Time to make the long journey home.

Below is an excerpt from a Blog Post I read this morning titled “So you love an Addict”  I share because it touched my heart and spoke into where we are at today…


God places the seed of revival in the mind of the prodi­gal and it says “when he came to himself”….that defin­ing moment of every addict…that moment of hon­esty and hope….that only God can place there.

Lu 15:17 But when he came to him­self he said, How many hired ser­vants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I per­ish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight:

He said  “I will arise” …“I will go home”…”I will say

….and then begins the jour­ney to his real Father who is already run­ning to meet him.

You see that moment,  must be his choice and God uses the cir­cum­stances and his Spirit to get there…..Do not inter­fere and don’t you try to fetch him and make him arise…

He had to hun­gry first…he had to be with the pigs in a for­eign coun­try and dri­ven by the need for bet­ter food before he came home…and there the spir­i­tual heal­ing starts.

So I wait like the Father of the Prodigal for  my son to head the call to come home.

(and let me state, this is not a physical return to my home, but a spiritual return to His Father…)

4 comments on “From a Distance

  1. Susan, what a helpful, insightful post! It’s amazing how once you get into recovery, then these issues of helping other addicts come to the forefront. So now I am always getting something from posts like these–not just for my son, who is sober now, but for so many people I love. Thanks for your wisdom! Love it.

    • susanjsilva says:

      Gleaning, gleaning always gleaning. Its how I learn (2nd) best. Our own experience is our best teacher, but the second best is another’s.
      Well that is as long as we are willing students.
      Because of hope.

  2. Lee Gomes says:

    Susan, that is wonderful, I’m thrilled and thanking God at the same time that he almost had a weak moment and decided to handle it the right way and ask God for his help. That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you, I believe your son is going to succeed in his journey. In 16 days it will be one yr since my son passed. How I wish he could have dug deep down inside and found that strength that your son used the other day. If only he concentrated on God instead of his desire for alcohol.

    • susanjsilva says:

      Oh Lee, how my heart breaks with you. I wish I could be there with you to support you through this difficult time. The one year mark I’m sure will have its sting. Praying for your heart, for His peace to wash over you and a His love to fill you.

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