I was struck by these words; “Stop Trying So Hard” written my Melody Beattie in her book; ‘The Language of Letting Go” daily meditations. She states in her writing for July 24th;
“Stop trying so hard to make it happen…. Stop trying to force, to manipulate, to coerce, or to make it happen. Making things happen is controlling….Put as much energy into letting go as you have into trying to control. You’ll get much better results.”
I don’t know about you, but as the parent of an addict I was really good at “trying” hard. I became accomplished first in “trying” to deny that there was even a problem and then “tried” even harder to not accept that the problem was serious. Then once I got hit with the reality of how serious the problem was, I “tried” really hard and again became very accomplished at “trying” to FIX the problem.
It all became way too trying…
Now I work on “trying” to let go. Some days are easier than others. It’s on those days I feel as those I’ve mastered cutting the cord and have become accomplished at letting go, then other days I’m “trying” really hard to reel that cord back in and I have to remind myself to just LET GO!!
Melody Beattie ends the July 24th meditation with…
“Learn to let things happen because that’s what they’ll do anyway.”
I will be letting go of trying so hard, and just let it be…
You’re so right. My trying did nothing but wear me out. But, if I could do it again, I would just try differently. Melody is right too, they will happen, no matter what. However, I would rather be very close when they do. I have found a fine line between trying to control the problem and just accepting the addict with or without the problem. Thanks for letting me follow your blog as it allows me a great deal of self-understanding.
I am glad you come by. Don’t ever stop, and don
t stop processing and growing. Its what brings healing over time.
Matts mom, hang in there. I am a fixer and tried to be just like you. IT didn’t work this way either.