KNOW your Addict


ImageNo two addicts are the same.  Each has their own history, with their own moment when drugs changed their life forever.  We cannot lump them all together thinking they are all the same.  Though their stories will have similarities, the bottom line of their addiction is uniquely their own.

While one may find themselves addicted after a painful and difficult recovery from major surgery, another will have suffered from years of undiagnosed mental illness and has self-medicated to relieve the internal pain.  Yet another may have innocently partied their way into addiction.  Never mind those who look to drugs to cover the pain and shame of abuses off all kinds, or a loss that they just can’t seem to recover from. 

Each of our addicts are different and we need to understand that detoxing and staying clean of drug use for a period of time will never give any of them the life of true freedom they need to remain so, until they do the hard work of getting to the very bottom of the reason they started.  Even for those who say ‘I just like getting high”… I would counter with “you need to figure out why you don’t like being sober”.  Only until they each can uncover this area of their life will they truly be free from the NEED to use.  Never mind the chemical NEED the drug itself produces in the body. 

I say know your addict, because no one knows what it will take to help them heal.  I remember being in a meeting with a parent who REEFUSED to go to a family counseling time because she believed that by going she would have to take on the responsibility for her daughters addiction.  She was a hardline “I didn’t CAUSE it, can’t CURE it, can’t CONTROL it”  kinda gal.  And though I agree with that, I know we may just hold a key that can unlock a door or two in the healing process. 

Once we can begin to KNOW our addict, we can look for ways to help the healing process.  And it may be as simple as listening to them empty some of the pain they have experienced by going to a family counseling session.  You don’t have to take responsibility for the pain, but maybe by allowing them to empty themselves of it you may have just given them the courage to move a step closer to a life of freedom. 

Be willing to KNOW your addict. 

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Operating in Truth


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It’s been quite a bit since I’ve posted.  Quite frankly I’ve been afraid to post my thoughts.  Just when I think things are going well and I post about some accomplishment or the victory of my son taking a few more baby steps forward… in a matter of days it would all come crashing down around me.  The victory would be short lived, what was accomplished needed to be accomplished yet again as it didn’t stick the first time.  Making me just not want to post…

2012 is past.  With it my son was able to put together some decent clean time.  But I sense a struggle coming.  We parents can usually feel it in our gut.  He is battling with some of the behaviors that addiction brings.  Clean time is great, and I rejoice over what time he has put together… but there is still a fierce battle that needs to be waged.  One that will take an inner strength and resolve both my son and I will need to muster.  Some of these behaviors are quite destructive, and they keep rearing their ugly head.

He has admitted that he needs someone to talk to, he knows he has a pit he has to climb out of and he can’t do it alone.  I know there is something’s I can do to help along the way, guidance I can offer, always being willing to point to the direction he needs to head.  But just like I can’t make him stop doing drugs… I also CAN NOT make him change his behaviors.  He needs to have the desire within himself to change.

My own Recovery from enabling is at risk… I need to operate in truth.  And the Truth is I have not stood as firmly as I should have the last few months in regards to his behavior.  I need to be open about this battle, for when I am open about it, I gain the strength I need to stand firm.

Chiseling out a line in concrete is hard work, and I can’t do it alone.  Just as my son cannot overcome his battle alone, neither can I.

As a family we vowed to do things different, it was a family meeting that will become the bedrock of 2013.  That bedrock is firmly based on… “If nothing Changes… Nothing Changes” the first of those changes is our pledge to Operate in Truth.  For truly TRUTH is the best of foundations to stand on.

“Never let us be guilty of sacrificing any portion of truth on the altar of peace.” ~ J. C. Ryle