“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” ~ Rose Kennedy
When we are deeply wounded by the addicts in our life, time is what is needed. Most of us in the beginning stages of the disease rush in to help our addicts. We don’t take the time to process through the pain that has been inflicted on us or our household. We get caught up in the madness of trying to “fix them”. Looking in every direction possible for the cure or just the right place to send them that will be the “answer” to it all.
Keeping my son at arm’s length these last four months has given me time. Time I haven’t really taken before. Time, which has somehow allowed the scar tissue to cover over some of the deepest of wounds. Time, that has revealed to me just how deeply wounded I have been.
Time does not change us. It just unfolds us.
~ Max Frisch
Time has also been changing my son. Keeping that distance has caused him to look deep into his own life. Time is what will carry him from where he was to where he needs to be. By my not rushing in to save him, time has been unfolding in him those things that need to be revealed. Things that only time can show.
Time is the longest distance between two places. ~ Tennessee Williams
I have watched from a distance my son begin to figure his life out. From living in a car, to renting a room. To focusing on self, to helping others. From temporary work that pays very little to finding a full time decent paying job, and beginning to realize he needs to find ways to give back and to pay back.
Time is the wisest counselor of all. ~ Pericles
No matter where you are in the cycle of addiction, if you’ve just found out your loved one is addicted, or if like me your years into this… take the time needed to heal, and while you are… time may just be doing a mighty work on your addict.