The Definition: “Something that has been brought back to an earlier and usually better condition”.
The Process… A LOT of hard work!
We had many such projects in our yard and garage. My first husband loved the idea of restoring old cars. He nearly had an old ’68 Mail Jeep restored, and just before we divorced he had a ‘72 Charger started.
Restoring an old car takes a lot of work, (which he never finished… but that’s another story). Once the car would come home, the first tool he would use on it was a pair of tin snips, cutting away the worst of the rust spots. Then he’d have to cut new metal to attach in the really bad spots. Then the application of ‘bondo’ and then ALL that SANDING!!!! And that was just to make the outside look like new; the inside was where a lot of the expense came. Adding new carpet, re-upholstering the seats, gathering all the missing or needing to be replaced nobs, handles, etc., all the while tinkering with, cleaning up or just plain having to replace the motor.
Relationships that need to be restored take just as much care and time. Matter of fact they will take even more time when the relationship has been broken down because of Addiction.
It has been nearly 6 months since I asked my addict to leave my home after a good stretch of sober living. This has been an extremely long time of ‘relationship at a distance’. I have found it hard to even begin the restoration process this time. (We’ve been down this road a number of times). I knew the process… I had no problem taking the “tin snips to the rust and cutting it out”…
But I stopped there…
Cutting out what was bad was necessary. But this time there was so much of it, the rest of the process seemed too overwhelming to even begin. I couldn’t get past the pile of rust and brokenness that lay before me. So MUCH had accumulated over the last 9 years. All the other times I had attempted the restoration process, I short cut it. I tried to hide just how much real rust should have been cut out. I barely sanded before trying to put a paint job on the outside. Making it look good from a distance, but eventually… ALL that needed to be cut away and hadn’t been became painfully obvious!
So I cut… and I cut… and cut some more. Till there was more gone, than left standing. I was exhausted. And I walked away for what seemed like a long time…
Come back next week for more on the process.
I hope you do come back soon and rebuildyour relationship. I am feeling very blessed. My son recently just celebrated one year clean. We as a family went the two hour trip to his rehab center for him to speak. 12 of us all together. HE did the work, but we went as a family for support. What a ride it has been. As always, thank you for sharing.
Its been a long ride, but the journey will be worth it one day!
thank you for sharing,and reminding me it takes time to ”repair” the relationship
Time, more time then we had imagined and the right materials…