It’s been quite a bit since I’ve posted. Quite frankly I’ve been afraid to post my thoughts. Just when I think things are going well and I post about some accomplishment or the victory of my son taking a few more baby steps forward… in a matter of days it would all come crashing down around me. The victory would be short lived, what was accomplished needed to be accomplished yet again as it didn’t stick the first time. Making me just not want to post…
2012 is past. With it my son was able to put together some decent clean time. But I sense a struggle coming. We parents can usually feel it in our gut. He is battling with some of the behaviors that addiction brings. Clean time is great, and I rejoice over what time he has put together… but there is still a fierce battle that needs to be waged. One that will take an inner strength and resolve both my son and I will need to muster. Some of these behaviors are quite destructive, and they keep rearing their ugly head.
He has admitted that he needs someone to talk to, he knows he has a pit he has to climb out of and he can’t do it alone. I know there is something’s I can do to help along the way, guidance I can offer, always being willing to point to the direction he needs to head. But just like I can’t make him stop doing drugs… I also CAN NOT make him change his behaviors. He needs to have the desire within himself to change.
My own Recovery from enabling is at risk… I need to operate in truth. And the Truth is I have not stood as firmly as I should have the last few months in regards to his behavior. I need to be open about this battle, for when I am open about it, I gain the strength I need to stand firm.
Chiseling out a line in concrete is hard work, and I can’t do it alone. Just as my son cannot overcome his battle alone, neither can I.
As a family we vowed to do things different, it was a family meeting that will become the bedrock of 2013. That bedrock is firmly based on… “If nothing Changes… Nothing Changes” the first of those changes is our pledge to Operate in Truth. For truly TRUTH is the best of foundations to stand on.
“Never let us be guilty of sacrificing any portion of truth on the altar of peace.” ~ J. C. Ryle