It’s His Road Now

Last night I had the privilege to speak to the officer who arrested my son at my home over a month ago.  He happens to be a very lovely and kind spirited man.  As we spoke I thanked him for how he handled my son and the whole incident.

He said to me:

“You have a long road ahead of you with that one”

To which I replied

“Ah but it’s his road now”.

The beginnings of that road he found himself on over a month ago were pretty difficult.  And I assure you, it was hard for me too, while a snow storm that packed 22 inches of snow on my front lawn was falling on him as he slept in a car.  It’s not a road I chose for him, not a road I wanted him to have to endure or the road I thought he’d have to go down yet again.  But on it he found himself.

Since that time, he has found a room to rent, taking steps every day to stay clean, is applying for jobs and caring for himself and the girl he loves.  The road is a little less treacherous; the wintery weather is all but over, he has a bed to sleep in once again and three meals a day.

He though, is completely in charge of the road before him.  He will choose his destination, draw the map to get there and find the strength to pursue it.    No matter which direction he goes in; back down the road of drug abuse, rehabs and jails, or down a new road, one that will lead him to a healthy joy-filled life.

Either way…

It’s his road now.

The Life of a Nomad

From Wikipedia:

“A Nomad is a person who moves from place to place as a way of obtaining food”

“The word nomad comes from a Greek word that means one who wanders”

My addicted son is a Nomad.  He has no true place to call home anymore.   For nearly two years he found shelter in many places;

baseball dugouts

abandoned houses

makeshift tents in the woods

parking garages

occasional couches in other addicts homes

rehab surfing

and the like.

For almost 6 months he had a stable environment, he lived back at home, warm home, with three meals a day, a hot shower, laundry and plenty of company.  For two of those months he even had the pleasure of a new bed.

Yet his addiction and his old behaviors have yet to take the high road, so he lives once again as a Nomad.  This time he’s spent the last few weeks living in a car with a short reprieve of rehab surfing, and coming to rest in another person’s home.

Will this Nomad of mine finally trade his wandering in and begin a new life?  He says he’s ready… Only time will tell.

And Then it Snows…

Just two weeks ago I had to have my son removed from our home.  Since then he has been living in his girlfriend’s car.  They did find their way into a Rehab last week, only to be released into the New England Snow storm last night.

It took every ounce of energy I had to NOT say… “just come home”.  One side of my mother’s heart belongs to my little man, and is determined to protect him from the insanity that has happened in our home.  The other side… wants to do the same for his older brother.  No parent wants to see their (adult) child homeless and living in a car during a snow storm none the less.  But I knew if I let them in last night it would only be a matter of time before it all started again.

It is my prayer that this will push them forward to change.  That hardship will make them look at the choices they are making with a new set of eyes.  All the while my eyes are leaking…

Being the mother (or father)of an addict is hard stuff… especially when they are homeless and it snows.